I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
