I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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