So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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