i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
