Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hippo gnu deer
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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