So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
