dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
