my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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