She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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