Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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