How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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