What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
