Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
