I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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