"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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