her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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