the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
