Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
