it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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