A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
