Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
