college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
