Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
