They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
