So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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