It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
