And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
