talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
