you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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