Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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