ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His nipple licking is glorious
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