what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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