After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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