im six kinds of drunk right now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
