you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
