That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
