I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My vagina just clenched in fear
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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