areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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