Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
