You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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