I accidentally burped into my bong.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
