he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
