Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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