i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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