Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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