I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
