my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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