the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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