Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
