he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
