he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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