at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
